Realizations and Transformations
I am not a healer.
I’ve been having a lot of revelations lately about my path. Some I’ve known for a while, but only in my head and not in my heart. One big one I’ve had to come to terms with is that I am not a healer and nor do I want to be. It was hard to accept that and let go. I fought it. I always thought I’d hang up my shingle and practice as a folk healer. It’s accepted and well-received even by non-magical folk unlike most of the other magics I’m pulled towards. Most shamans, folk magicians, witches, Wiccans, etc, are healers as it makes up the bulk of most neoPagan spells and rituals and it’s the most common form of practitioner (though most with the talent let it go to waste because being a healer isn’t “cool enough” – yes it is, embrace it – I’ll be jealous).
I’ve always greatly respected healers and they are much-needed in our community. I studied folk healing and herbalism for years, but have realized I don’t have the patience and gentleness required of a healer. I’m good at listening to people, but pretty blunt when it comes to assessment and advice. Some of my friends don’t even like to have tarot readings from me or ask me the visions or dreams I’ve had for them because I don’t soften negative messages or look for the bright side – I just tell it like it is with no sugar-coating.
I shouldn’t be surprised really, I am a poisoner and priestess of intoxication when it comes to plants. I don’t regret all the years I spent learning medicinal herbalism or folk healing, after all, a witch who cannot heal cannot curse. I have a talent for creating herbal healing recipes that really work, especially with indigenous plants, but my passion has never been wholly invested in it. Having finally come to this realization, I’m going to kill my mainstream business of herbal remedies and such and focus purely on my magical apothecary and artwork. This also means I will continue not to accept requests for spells, spiritual cleansings, or other magical healing products and services. It’s just not my bag.
I mostly struggled with this one because I thought: “if I’m not a healer, then what am I?” Well, the spirits weren’t subtle about answering that one: a seeress, a dreamworker, and a spiritworker (though the first two can fall under spirit work, I suppose). Okay, I can work with that (and will get into them more deeply in future posts).
I’ve left behind Traditional Witchcraft.
My spiritual practice has become much more culturally heavy and fleshed out with cosmology in the past few years. What I actually practice away from this blog and with my cohorts no longer resembles Traditional Witchcraft. Instead it has become more of a primal prehistoric shamanic path of blood and bones folk magic layered with the seership and arts of the Scots spaewife and Norse spákona of old (seeresses and spiritworkers, not witches). Some will still consider me a Traditional Witch no matter what I practice or say, and I’m okay with that, but witchcraft is only a small piece of the whole for me now and I’ve realized my definition of witch and witchcraft matches that of few others. It took discussing my practices and beliefs with the local Wiccans and witches at festivals this year to realize they don’t recognize what I practice as modern witchcraft and those who knew me better thought I was a rootworker or shaman. The bulk of my magic right now involves spiritwork, dreamwork, and seership and most of it takes place in the otherworld, not the ritual circle, and without gods as I am a pure animist.
What does this mean? It means I’m going to leave behind the witch label and be more open about my practices and beliefs to better reveal and explain my path as a whole. I’m going to streamline all my projects and websites into one so I can manage it all better (so if things disappear – don’t panic). It’ll still take a lot of work however, so this is just a tease and a head’s up at the moment that things will be changing around here. I’m human and I know the only constant in the universe is change. It’s time to transform again, spread my wings, and move on to new and promising things.
There’s more to come, but I’ll just leave these musings here for now…
We cannot walk a path fully until we understand the ground beneath our feet and the substance from which it is made. I look forward to all the changes coming!
Whatever you call yourself, you are still a wonderfully magical being. It’s a pleasure to know you.
We all change, some of us thought we just figured out who or what we were suppose to do. But then, we either get restless or uncomfortable. Its then we are confronted with a different path, or new way to use our gift or talents.
If we don’t follow our gut feelings or the stir of our soul, we will be unhappy. Life is changing all the time. Sometimes its a big, life changing event. Other times, its a new way of praticing our talents.Its hard, sometimes painful, to give up on being something we want to be or use to be.
We have to change, or be left behind. Welcome to the future. Let our soul be our guide.
Yeah, I’m not comfortable with labels either Sarah. There are things I have learned from a lot of paths, including druidry, asatru, powwow, hoodoo, my Ioway tribal ways (and other NA tribes), Catholicism, witchcraft, Yoruba ways, hermeticism, philosophy, and more. After all, the thing to me is, I love truth wherever I find it. TRUTH. I tend to take refuge, when pressed, to accept the label of NA traditionalist or bioregional animist…but really, there’s just “stuff I do.” Labels be damned anyways.
To Sarah and Lance – I don’t like labels either. When I am in the Other-Worlds, labels mean didly. I’m going through a difficult shift myself, and I raise a solemn toast of understanding. As a spirit worker myself, the changes are hard, and hard hitting right where it hurts. But that’s what makes a spirit worker practical in my opinion.
I do work as a healer, because I am able to effectively, but I am a craftsman, metalworker, and leather-worker by my very nature. So I understand the fight. I fought for years that I wasn’t one. Tooth and nail. But in the end – the spirits have always shown me that you are what you are, no matter how you ‘shift the mirror.’ I hope that makes sense.
I personally refer to European folk magick and “shamanism” as witchcraft, and I have different terms for folk magick and shamanism in other parts of the world(Such a person who practices Japanese folk magick would be an Onmyoji). But not all see it this way, witchcraft nowadays is synonymous with magick.
I totally lack the ability to heal. It’s just not something I can do. I can influence the minds and hearts of people, I can call upon and conjure spirits of this world and the next, but I can’t heal for shit. Best I can do is dress a candle, an outer bandage or a close wound with Lucky Mojo healing oil. I think most folks who want to mend the hearts and bodies of humans do so through medicine, naturally in a health store, or through a pharmacy. I’ll leave it to folks who can do it.
I look forward to reading more about your journey.
And on a selfish note will your future store still carry poplar balsam oil? I would like to grab some more before it’s gone.
Awesome stuff!
Wow,well put and greatly explained.I love the fact you don’t feel “tied” to a role,and that labels hold no power in your reality.I feel much the same.I am a “Shaman” yet the label itself doesn’t do my totem animals or my work justoce(nor does it do justice to the uncountable line of millions of “Shamans” from the last 80,000 years.Go get your rebirth on 80)
The older you get, the more absorbed you become in your practice. Eventually there becomes far less need for accoutrements, “ritual tools”, formal rites, or even proper gods, goddesses or spirits of any identifiable personality or gender.
Somebody who does spirit work, dreamwork, seership, works with blood and bones and practises folk magic fits my personal definition of a ‘traditional’ witch whether they work in a ritual circle or not. However I can fully understand that publicly the ‘w’ word is a loaded one and it comes with a lot of baggage. For that reason you might not want to be associated with it. In the past the word ‘witch’ was generally usd by cowans to describe practitioners of various magical arts and would not have been used by them to describe themselves. On a personal level it does not matter what you call yourself. It is what you do that matters and defines a person as a practitioner. In that respect Sarah you not only talk the talk you also walk the walk. Many people who call themselves ‘traditional witches’ don’t
w0rd. I’ve been uncomfortable with being called a shaman because most people associate shamanism with drumming up spiritual healing, which I don’t do. I can do a healing spell for someone in dire need, but it costs pretty heavily. I can move energy around but I’m not a typical drumming-healer by any stretch and never will be.
I greet the Dead. End of. And that’s fine. You are your own witchy-whatever person. And that’s fine too. Just when we think we’ve got it sussed, we don’t…but that’s cool because it means we’re continuing in practice rather than stagnating.
Interesting to read how you develop your own path. I think it’s really good that you know where your strengths are and listen to the calls of nature and the gods. I find that many people (not just pagans) hold on to some ideal, instead of really trying to find their particular strength.
I partly agree with Robert Goode about what’s what in witchraft and paganism – though I do think that there’s more than enough cultural and regional differences to make distinctions between Spákona, Hagazussa, Strega, etc.
I also think that many people make a distinction between higher magic (magician) and lower magic (witch) – or that might just be me :p (and it’s not completely true historically speaking, either)
Lightening bolt clarity! Very exciting Sarah, I’m looking forward to reading more.
Kick ass!
I’ve had curiosity for many years wanting to learning the darker herbs used with restraint to help dream work, astral travel, spirit work. When u talk prehistory I am one with that familiar voice calling from beyond. Sacred, primitive and pure magic. I follow ancient books and magazines that have totems , talismans so ancient we don’t hold to their last unique meaning. Most primal. U sent me couple ointments/oleums thanks ahead of time. May i hear much more of your spiritual travels. Friends are wishing u a sorcerers journey. Blessed be. Anita
I understand fully…
I had this revelation earlier this year, I am not what others consider a ‘witch’, yet I am not what is considered (over here in England) a Shaman either. i have no lineage, no guidance but that that has come from the spirits themselves.
Others find me difficult to hold onto, because I fit no pattern they know, I have no gods and nor do I worship the seasons like they do, But I know the strengths of the forces they call and can bring them to work without naming them or giving them a face.
I love herbs, but I can’t even grow mint (yup I manage to kill it) but posions, wild plants and roots, no problems. Like you I am a ‘do-er’ not a soft option. I tell people the truth about themselves whether they like it or not.
I work as a Card Reader (both Tarot and others – but no angels) and I’m always told I don’t mess about but what I tell them comes to pass through their own sight and the warnings they’ve had from me.
We need more like us, the ones who tell the truth to those who need to hear it. The blood and bone, fur and feather people, the Lynx people that we are.
I’m glad you’ve come to the decision you have but you’re not alone in it, there are others like you and you will grow again now you have more energy to use on the path that is beneath your feet again. Many blessings to you and I know you’ll follow it through to where it leads you.
Fully coming to terms with a new chapter in our magical lives can be difficult, I find — and for so many reasons. Putting that chapter into “terms” can be even more challenging, as we so often don’t fit into neat little categories. We want tidy labels for things, including ourselves, but magic is messy — just like life.
oh i remember having a similar revelation that i struggled with about not being a ‘healer’ it seemed all a bit odd cause weren’t witches meant to be healers? but no apparently not, well not this Witch anyhoo
also seems to be the season? time for revelations of sorts, i have been having quite a few of late!! glad to know i am in excellent company!
*smiles*
Polly
Knowing what one is not, is as important as knowing what one is.
Personally I must say, that what you do and intend to do more, falls for me perfectly under the label of witchcraft. But I think my definition differs a bit from the ‘usual’ one, too.
Two thoughts.. one is that healing is not always gentle; it can be dirty, in-yorur-face, and one bang-out fight. I’m not a healer, and you might not be a healer, but I think it might be important to recognize (which I’m sure you do, lol) that healing can sometimes be the opposite of gentle. The other thought is that the definition of traditional witchcraft today I find as very post-Christian TW. Even the word witch, lol… I doubt people prior to Christianization ever called themselves witches. They just were what they were, and I do believe that early “craft” was very shamanic and tribal in nature; however, the modern label seems to restrict one to the modern opinions of what “witches” are and what they do. I have enjoyed your blog; thanks for keeping it up
Labels are for the convenience of others, not ourselves. However, as a daughter and priestess of Sekhmet, I will say that I have always read your writing and considered you that. Like you (and me) Sekhmet does not sugar-coat, nor is the Lioness a ‘gentle healer’. The goddess of the most skilled surgeons of the ancient world – and who dealt with mind.,body, spirit and dreams as well did many things that you yourself already do. Sometimes being ‘gentle’ can produce a far worse result than being direct and going to the root cause. (No pun intended!)
I don’t have to tell you that you can define yourself in whatever way you see fit. I will continue to read and watch and be delighted in what you decide to share with us. However, please, know that I am very reserved in recognising anyone belonging to Her. And yet, I’ve always seen you as that. There was never any question in my mind about it. The Wandering Goddess is not afraid to go to places where other witches don’t or won’t.
Dua netjer en etj, em ankh udja seneb! (Thank the gods for you, with life prosperity and health!)
If you do delete some of your posts, would you mind giving a heads up? Even though witchcraft is not your path, your posts are still informative to keep some notes for future reference.
I believe transitions are an important part of any spiritual path. We don’t live in a society where you are lucked into one manifestation of your powers for the rest of your life. That being said, always keep a foot in what you’ve learned and gained from identifying as a witch. It must ave held some resonance with your spirit for it to have stuck for so long. Still, glad to know you are striving towards something you want!
Hi Sarah, I’ve had a feeling you were leaning in this direction for a bit now. It’s simultaneously liberating and scary to leave old labels behind isn’t it (something I have a bit of experience with, lol)!. As you know, I still struggle with the whole label thing, much like Lance said above. Anyway, bravo for having the courage to follow your own path. My best to you always.
You may be blunt, but I think that is best. I know you won’t fudge things. When you read my cards I knew you weren’t just making up all the happiness and stuff to make me happy, its what was really there. <3
So what if you aren't a "healer". What you are is wonderfully magical, beautiful and powerful. You have your gifts and are fantastically talented at them.
Rock them.
<3 ~hugs~ miss you!
Our paths are eternally changing. It is how we grow and how we change. It is sad and happy. I’m glad you’ve been able to embrace the changes, but it is still sad to realize that something you wanted/loved is no longer the case.
Sarah,
Only you know what is best for Sarah.You like so many of us dance to the beat of a very different drum.With these different beats quite often comes different steps in the “dance”. let your heart be your guide in these steps,we shall be right there with you!
Thank you for sharing these thoughts with us. I truly gain so much inspiration from reading about your journey. Change is part of every human’s path but certainly spiritually focused people face it more often than most.
Labels are powerful, for although they lend one a sense of identity, they can restrict too. I admire you for shedding a label that no longer describes who you know yourself to be.
Good for you, Sarah.
Kudos to you, Sarah, for listening to your inner voice, being true to yourself, and honest with your audience. So many of us struggle with our identity in the Pagan scene. Sometimes we feel we have to be a certain way to fit in or seem cool…but really, we have to do what is right for our deeper selves.
I’ve found that a cultural focus has been a very good thing for me. It’s given me a roadmap of the Otherworld that is easier to understand. When you find your niche and calling, it’s hard to fight. Blessings in your new direction. I look forward to learning more!
As someone whose magical praxis is based on dreaming I look forward to the upcoming change of focus on your site… however, I must say I\’ve been thoroughly enjoying everything I\’ve read here. Thanks for putting such an awesome blog and site together. It has been inspiring my own workings.
Sometimes it is just as important to know what we are not as it is to know what we are.
Lately I’ve been realizing that my current work is more towards development as a Bard and lore-keeper -and the magics associated with these practices, including visionary work.
Good for you. This is fantastic. It is human nature to try to categorize and label. It is difficult to walk unnamed paths, if for no other reason than it becomes more of a challenge to both communicate beliefs and practices effectively and to find others who are like-minded. But for some of us, it’s the only way to be true to our natures. It sounds like you’ve got your feet well grounded and have some good people in your circle. I am excited for you.
I’ve never called myself ‘witch’, but have read much in the trad. witch vein trying to suss out if it held commonalities with my beliefs. That’s circuitously how I found your blog. I saw pretty quickly, though, that just because two recipes both use salt does not mean they’ll taste the same, you know? So I decided once and for all to be content with my practice, to let it be what it is–unnamed. But I’ve continued reading your blog since, because I sensed an underlying difference, a fundamental shift in your focus that was quite apart from the rest of the witch set. One that I greatly appreciate. I look forward to seeing what comes next!
No matter what labels get used or left by the wayside, you will always have friends out here in cyberspace who are eager to hear what you have to share. You are a talented, magickal woman. You are appreciated!
For what it’s worth, you still sound like a witch to me. More like one stepping right out of folklore in fact. Whatever you do, I’ll be curious to read whatever you share.
I second that! However, to thine own self be true…
Change is necessary I think and it is what makes us grow. I’ve been dealing with that for a while myself and I am now coming out of a dark phase of my life, looking at my spirituality and thinking “where the hell am I?”. Healing is a very specific art and I believe it requires a certain kind of temperament. I am studying Herbalism and other forms of healing right now and I tend to think that I perhaps won’t be the best person for this because I am impatient, blunt and tend not to sugarcoat. But I also believe that an important part of being a healer is being honest. I hate doctors who pussyfoot and vague stuff up.
I think you will find true power in your new path because it is where you have been for some time from what I have read of your past posts. I believe you will be a powerful force in the otherworlds beyond our reach and I do envy you your ability to do so. I’ve come to accept that my talents lie in the realm of herbs and divination and that the other areas I tried to force just don’t work for me. Perhaps as I enter this new phase I will find my own personal power.
I look forward to your posts on this new chapter, I enjoy your writing immensely because you inspire me to push myself and my boundaries. Seeress, Witch or Prophetess you are a wonder in this world and the others.
Sarah,
I’ve never posted a comment on your site before and I am a bit sad that I’ve waited this long to do so. However, it is called the Crooked Path for a reason. You never know which direction you will find yourself being carried away to, or how many times you think you are solid and another change takes place to your path and learning more.
Labels are just that, labels. Who cares? You my dear are just an amazing magical woman who has such ancestral knowledge that I can only hope I will be able to receive such knowledge from my ancestors like you have. Many may continue to call you a witch, I will always know you as a very wise woman.
I am a Healer and sometimes it is not the most glamorous or glorious Path. There are times when I’ve allowed Spirit to heal someone and that energy has followed me around until I can take time for myself and do away with it. I can protect myself as much as I can but since energy cannot be created nor destroyed I have to learn (on a daily basis) alternative ways to pass that energy from one person to an object, a crystal, etc. to make sure that I do not find that energy attached to me. Especially true in emergency situations.
Be blessed on your path, listen to your heart and mind. I do not worry about you, instead I rejoice with you. I look forward to seeing where you go from here. I will still be an avid follower and promise to comment more often!
Well, you don’t have to be a healer in the traditional sense to be a healer y’know. I’m much more of a dream worker too and for the last few years I’ve been trying like mad to work out how I could become more of a herbal healer – looking at so many other different types of healing too – fighting my instinct really – trying to fit into a recognised group description. Nothing sat with me and I’m such a blummi’ loner too, not a natural for going forth to help people, although I always will if I can. But dream work does mean something to me.
I’m more shamanic. And you know what – it doesn’t matter what label you have – you know your path, it doesn’t necessarily need a label. Our ancestors were known by a great many names. You don’t even have to be a healer of people – some work only with the land and it’s spirits, or with animals (I know you know all this, I’m only saying it to help others hopefully). Visions can in themselves be healing. Perhaps you heal departed souls. Perhaps you don’t heal in any capacity, but inspire – which is just as important.
Imagine how mortified I was when I kept getting drawn towards death?! Believe me, I am not a gothy kinda gal (not that there’s anything wrong with being a gothy kinda girl) – so it was upsetting and I fought it, but now I think I am more of a soul worker somehow – not someone who heals life, but who heals the aftermath of death. Still not clear but I’m getting there. Perhaps not even a worker with human souls, the path is still unwinding.
I wish you the warmest luck and I think it’s very brave of you to not only face but understand that paths wind and things change – they fog, they clear. It’s what a path is all about and sometimes it defies labels.
Not necessarily for the same reasons and or with the same results, but boy does this describe my path realizations right now. bless!
This post, and the many comments thereon could be turned into a primer of maturity on the witch/shaman path, or whatever label one gives it. After decades of doing my coven’s rituals i realize i do them primarily for others. For myself i just like to go out into the woods where none of the spirits have names or scripts. Blessings.
Interesting.. I wish you the best on your path, but I must admit I’m pretty confused as to why a group of Wiccans and their practices was instrumental in convincing you that your path is not witchcraft. Of course it’s not the same as theirs. My work is quite similar to yours, and I consider myself a Traditional Witch. I have no quarrell with Wiccans, I just recognize that we don’t walk the same path at all.
I want to reflect something here with a few comments. I love your work and the bits and bops we get to read about your path, your work (thank you again for Porta’s flying ointment), your craft. I’ve admired for some time and thought “wow there is so much more to learn, so much more to do… I’m just a healer and she’s got all that Witchery!”
Recently I folded into the “just a healer” and found that it wasn’t “just that” and my reticence to embrace that path and all the doors that open, and all the things that unfold is marvelous. So as a bit of a reflection I wanted to say that I think your path and work is “so cool” and I had thought my thoughts and reading this makes me heart smile. You do as you do, we love it, it is appreciated.
This sounds like quite a triumph of culmination!
hey from my personal understanding and experience of witchcraft, what you do and what you live and practice (from the point of view i get from your blog) you realy fit into my definition of witch- or witchcraft… for me a witch is someone who crosses the hedge- contacts the spirits and travels and experiences the otherworld(s). but most of the modern witches i met, don t fit into my personal definition of witchcraft and i do not in theirs- but whats the matter. it is important that the things you do work. and i think most of the witches of “old” didn t called themselves witches- but got that label from other people who called them witches. (and in modern days many people call themselves witches),,, i love your blog now matter how you call yourself…
and i don t think it is a bad thing, that you say people what you see or feel in divinations without light washing it. divination is not to get the answers you (or somebody) wants to hear, but to get the truth (or a possible movemant of wyrd). and that can be hurting…
and i myself am better in cursing than i am in healing (but i am working on the second)…
These new revelations that you are experiencing are part of the archetypal journey pattern. I once read in Miller’s Death of a Salesman that “life is a series of casting off” and that, according to T.S. Eliot, sometimes ” in order to possess one must go by the way of dispossession.” One may also look to Eastern philosophy to discover that at times we must lose a part of ourselves to find ourselves. I find in myself that these changes reveal some of life’s great paradoxes, but change is necessary for growth and development. As you transform, please continue to let us be part of your journey as you also serve as a teacher and guide for others on the difficult path toward awakening and self realization.
As long as you are using your gifts, and being authentically “you,” I don’t think it matters what you label yourself as.
I would warn against cutting out large chunks of your practice or past experience because it doesn’t fit with your image of a “witch,” “shaman,” etc.
Instead of narrowing your focus when you hit a labeling roadblock, broaden it. I refer to myself as Pagan, because “shaman,” “Heathen,” “spiritworker,” “runester,” and “traditional witch” don’t even scratch the surface of my practice when taken individually.
Hello Sarah,
Despite my resistance regarding the blood and bones stuff, I’ve always enjoyed and respected your creativity, dedication and generosity. As someone with roots in Scotland, including Orkney with its Norse heritage, I’ve always related most to the traditional spaewife aspect of your practice and certainly look forward to what you have to share in future.
All the best.
Thank you for being so willing to be vulnerable. I really appreciate the blunt honesty. Sometimes the tiptoeing around the rosebush routine is not necessary and even a waste of precious time. My father’s doctor is a brain surgery doctor/spinal cord doctor and the best of the best. He has the worst bed side manner I’ve ever encountered in a doctor in my life and in his personal life a lot of people consider him an asshole/prick. Very Houselike. So not all healers have the bedside manner. I wanted to be a healer myself because I’m really good with herbs but I’ve since realized it was because I had to be. I have an extremely sensitive central nervous system and have almost been accidentally killed by doctors giving me very common seemingly harmless meds that most people can handle. I learned herbs and making cosmetics and cleaners so I wouldn’t be harming myself-and I had hoped that because I was good at it-that would mean I was supposed to be an herbalist, green witch, aromatherapist, etc. I’m empathic and learned to spiritually cleanse to keep myself sane and protect myself. I naturally assumed I should be doing this for other people but again no. I’ve never chosen a specific path because no Gods/goddesses truly appeal to me. Their myths teach me and most of the ones that strike a chord with me are considered darker. I never felt comfortable trying to work with any of them in any capacity. I tried various Faery paths because that seemed to fit me and my beliefs the best but was always offput at having to join some group or else I don’t have the true Fey powers and I’m going to go mad. I understand the why of these beliefs but again no fit and a bit of serious annoyance as well. My work and beliefs are very Shamanistic but I also hate using labels. Most people that I associate with being that way are very much into animal totems and for someone who is very empathic I do not fit the role of major animal worker/lover to the degree I always thought I should. I’m not big into divination. I am a dreamer and a major dreamwalker/lucid dreamer/astral traveler. I know things instantly without doubt and I’m usually correct as I’ve done the research always and scared myself in the process. However the one common element seems to involve death, the otherworld, or the dreamworld. When I was a CNA I was very good at it and very respected to the point where I almost became a nurse. Then it dawned on me..I was being placed in the dementia wards and the mentally ill wards and placed on death watches. My gift wasn’t healing it was being present for death for preparing people for it or holding their hands while they were literally transitioning. When I have encountered spirits or knew things about the past that upon researching ended up being spot on it always bothered me. For awhile I wondered if perhaps I was meant to be a medium and pass on info or ease spirits off this plane into the white light like other spirit sensitive people. Again, no for some reason the purpose seems to be to witness a transition. I’m also quite the muse for artist friends and family. I seem to be part of the transition period for that as well.
psychopomp. That’s it.
In my personal life I’m a rather gifted writer and I went to college to become a teacher. I am not a teacher. I had hoped to be a novelist as well. Perhaps, someday but I get the feeling that is a wish. I’ve tried writing a novel before but wasn’t into it. I love poetry but it’s done for love of it only. I’ve thought of being a professional storyteller and being a bard/lorekeeper. Yet, that doesn’t seem to fit either. It’s very frustrating and time-consuming and I’ve had to let go over and over again. Everything seems to be about nurturing other people or healing or animals or bright lights and angels. This is not me. neither is the warrior path. Most cultures seem to revere healing and light paths or the warrior path. Sometimes the role is active or passive but it seems to me that I’m always there during a transition or being someone elses catylst. It took me a really long time to accept this about myself. It’s hard. It feels lonely at times and definetely misunderstood. As a seer I rarely see the future and when I do its usually not very pretty. I thought i was a bad news nelly but I think of it as a way of saying hey you-use what time you have wisely and also prepare. When I see the past I think what’s the blooming point it’s already done but often it’s to reframe it and help other people accept it. I really appreciate reading your posts because it helps to realize that others are out there and its not just me in my tiny corner of the world.
Thank you for writing this-now I’ve subscribed to your blog. Eloquently put I will now refer friends and etceteras to your page to explain why some of us are not “healers”
Pretty much along the same lines the spirits recently told me: “Never disguise yourself.”
What a wonderful advise and so much in line with what you shared above. It also includes the courage to face what you really are underneath…
Thanks for sharing!
Like some of the others, I too see dreamwork, working with spirits, and visions as core to witchcraft–at least the way I see it and the way the Early Moderns (people like Isobel Gowdie) saw it too. And I don’t believe that Wiccans can define the practice of people who are not Wiccans. I’ve heard plenty of Wiccans say that Wicca is not witchcraft but a religion. I also, though, feel the need for a cultural anchor in my work and have chosen a couple that work for me, so I can certainly understand your wanting to acknowledge those anchors in your work. I don’t think they in any way exclude witchcraft. And I don’t think of witchcraft as primarily about healing. I know the saying about healing and cursing, but I have never believed it. To me, witchcraft is a tool or a method rather than a collection of particular practices. IMO, it’s not about spells or talismans but about learning to be connected to the power(s) that are out there that are not clearly visible, for the most part, to many others. Spells, talismans, whatever are just particular practices that a witch can adopt or not. Anyway, I wish you the best.
Maybe this is the year for so many of us to “feel” that our paths are shifting. I have read many of the comments here and most are similar in nature. I have found, for the most part that working with or in groups can often cause energies to go “wonky” a bit and that it is when you are alone, in the veery deepest part of yourself is when you do the best, most effective work. I too enjoy your blog and your outlook and sheer honesty. Best of luck to you, but don’t give up your blog. The rest of us often draw much self-insght from you musings.
Thank you everyone for your comments. I hope future posts will clarify things for some when it comes to what direction I’m going and how I define things. Thanks for stumbling along the path beside me!
I’m not a Healer either, this I know because I got a healer in the family and I realize that this is not my talent. But to be honest Ì haven’t found my true talents at all, I’m still searching, testing and learning and training. I have some good indications though. I think that my talent can kiss and bite, but not heal, that takes another touch.
Thank you for the ointments, they are excellent thou henbane is not my forte, but mandrake works fine with me. And as healing goes, this is so far the only ointment (or salve at the apothecary) that has relieved my neck pain that gives my terrible headaches.
I really like your blog and wish you all the best =)
// Häxhem
Lovely Sarah-you definitely strike me as a Shaman/rootworker figure much more than a witch or a Wiccan. Given your blog, your topics of interest, your knowledge and adherence to the poison path-I see walking and working between the worlds for its own sake as opposed to doing it as an act of devotion to a specific God or Goddess to be your work. That’s not to say that you cannot have a fierce devotion-to things living and dead, seen and unseen. And for what its worth, I think being clear about labels-even if they are narrow and confining-is important and big boon to the larger magical community.
After reading your post my question is will your shoppe sufferin any way cause it really has inspired my to try making things of that nature .=)
You are who you are and no one can change that you are skilled and coneected with spirit and a wonderful worker in what ever you do. I love your blog and have learned so much from you. I work with spirit and am too, like you going through transformation, right now I need reat and that is what I am doing. I wish you well in your journey
Always follow your inner voice, your way of disagreeing with the written word.
Words are small.
Life is infinite.
Carry on.
Love it. I am not a healer either. It took me a while to get that. Thanks for the refreshing honesty.
This post really resonates with me, although my religious/magical orientation is quite different from yours.
I’ve been following your blog for a while, and it’s always fascinating. So here, have an award:
http://twilightandfire.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/inspiring-blogger-award/
Late comment…I know what you mean, Sarah. I started making the comparison of shamanic practice to trad witchcraft (TW) a while back. IMHO, there is a lot of latitude between the two. Spirit contact and ecstatic trance exists in both. If you check out Radomir Ristic’s Traditional Balkan Witchcraft, I think you will find that eastern European TW is much more shamanic that the British trads.